BIBLE TEACHINGS MADE PLAIN part 23
The Bible about Marriage and Family
In this week’s lesson we will talk about what the Bible tells us regarding marriage and family. In the present age of the 21st century views on marriage and family are different from the past. Marriage relationships between male and female are not as solid as it used to be. It looks like that the marriage vow is not till death does part, but as long as we agree. In any marriage situation are moments of disagreement, but should not be a cause for a divorce or separation. Pure love should be the cement which should hold the marriage together, even making it stronger when years pass by.
A few days before this writing I celebrated our 58th wedding day and I was in courtship with my wife for 6 years, so I know my wife for 64 years. We are still happy and in full love to one another.
Unfortunately most marriages of today do not last that long. At least one out of two do end in divorce after a period of time. There is also the loos knit situation of cohabitation, defacto living together, which has found government recognition. This government recognition makes it even easier not to look for a formal marriage as it was in the past, and also making it easier to walk away from each other.
Now let’s start and find out what the Bible has to say about marriage and family. As we have done so often in these lessons we go back again to the beginning. It was in Eden that God gave us the Seventh-day Sabbath for rest and worship. At the same time God gave us the marriage family status. Read Gen.2:18-25. Two gifts from God, Sabbath and marriage, and two things the Devil has done its utmost to destroy. We read in Genesis chapter 2:18-20 that God made man and brought all the animals before Adam to name them. Adam must have noticed that the animals came in pairs and may have wondered why he was alone. God said,” it is not good for man to be alone and I will make him a help suitable for him”. This was done out of the side rib of Adam. Not from his head to dominate Eve and not from his feet to trample upon her, but from his side rib to be on his side as his helper. Eve was Adam’s equal, with different functions but equal. God brought them together. In good marriages it should be recognised that God has brought male and female together. What God brings together, man should not separate.
If this is recognised that God brings people together, male and female, then it is logic that the two people contemplating marriage relationship give honour to God who institute marriage and have their marriage solemnised in a public service. Jesus put his seal of approval on it by attending the wedding at Cana and providing more wine when it did run out. Read this in John 2:1-12
Jesus recognised this act at the time of creation, read Matt.19:3-9. Jesus affirmed the Genesis story and He affirmed that male and female should come together and “the twain shall be of one flesh”. Notice “the twain”, not three or more. A third person should never try to mingle in a marriage relationship and it should never be allowed either. Polygamy is not Biblical and started by unbelievers out of the children of Cain, read Gen.4:16-19. In later years it became so much a part of that culture that God allowed it but never condoned it.
Abraham took a second wife to hasten God’s promise for having a child, but it was not God’s will and it gave the family of Abraham much trouble. His grandson Jacob did the same. He was not happy with Lea and took Rachel and took also concubines. But out of Lea came Judah out of who was born the Messiah, Jesus Christ. Gen.29:32-35; 49:10 Apparently Lea was God’s choice for Jacob.
Does the Bible condone or allow cohabitation, living together and not being properly married before God? Confidently we may say, NO. Abraham did not like Isaac to marry a girl from the nations in Canaan. So his servant was sent to his homeland to look for a wife for Isaac. The servant prayed about it that God would lead him to the right one. You can read about it in Genesis 24. Rebecca was found and willing to leave her home and travel to Canaan where Abraham lived with Isaac When they approached the place they found Isaac in the field in an act of worship. Read Gen.24:61-67.
Isaac did not take Rebecca into his tent and live with her in cohabitation, but he brought her to his mother’s tent, most surely till the day of proper marriage. Jesus in one of His first miracles honoured a proper wedding and attending a wedding feast, read John 2:1-11. Cohabitation, living together does not have a Biblical background or example.
In the Bible we read about fornication and that fornicators will not enter the kingdom of God, 1Cor.6:9, 10.Fornication is an illicite relationship between male and female. The Oxford Dict. says about fornication “people who are not married to each other and having sexual intercourse”. Fornication in the Bible is from the Greek word “porneia” from where we have the word “pornography”, also something Christians should not be involved in.
A Christian man should also look for a Christian woman and visa versa. Believers and unbelievers should not marry for obvious reasons and to avoid clashes in family life, read 2Cor.6:14 Marriage is a divine institution and should be treated as such in order to receive God’s blessing as it was blessed in the beginning.
The marriage relationship between male and female as husband and wife is made clear in Eph.5:21-33. First of all and strongly emphasized, it should be a love relationship, from husband to wife and from wife to husband. The love relationship between husband and wife is clearly set out in 1Peter 3:1-7. The wife is to recognise the husband as the head of the family. The husband to love his wife, respect her and dwell with his wife in honour. If this is followed there is no room for abusing as so often is the case in the present time. It is clear from these scripture passages that a Biblical marriage is a love relationship not a contract relationship. To learn what Biblical love is to be, read 1Cor.13 the classic love chapter. In such a relationship the two persons in the marriage relationship are unconditional committed to each other.
But it also tells us that the husband is the head of the family. It is expected that the husband gives leadership and particularly in spiritual matters and Biblical instruction and worship. Abraham the father of believers has set a good and strong example. Read Gen.18:19 and 26:5 and also Pov.22:6 and Deut.6:4-9 spiritual training and instruction is strongly affirmed in these scripture passages and it is wise to follow this through. This is one reason why husband and wife should have spiritual unity and be of one mind in the spiritual matters.
Where this is not possible the mother should take that role as in the case of Timothy, read 2Tim.1:5 and 3:14, 15. These two women most likely had that spiritual influence upon Timothy, not his father who was a Greek, Acts 16:1
In Prov.31 we find a beautiful ode or praise on the ideal woman or wife of a husband. Blessed be the man who has found such a woman and blessed the woman to be such a wife. Much prayer must be offered to God to attain to that ideal.
Homo and lesbian relationships are condemned in the scriptures and are equal to the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah. Read Gen.19:5; Lev.18:22; 20:13; Rom.1:26-28.
In Biblical terms divorce is only allowed in cases of adultery according to the word of Jesus in Matt.5:31, 32. Adultery is unfaithfulness to the marriage vow. Adultery is more serious than a break of contract but love directed in the wrong direction outside the marriage circle. Directing love and paying attention unduly to a third person has no place in that inner intimate circle and is called unfaithfulness or adultery.
In Eph.6:1-4 we find some final counsel regarding relationships in the family. It should be respectful and based on love and affection to one another. The relationship in marriage should be very intimate and close, and growing closer and closer. The sexual relationship in particular is a strict private relationship given by God to enjoy
between husband and wife and as a means of expressing to each other love and deep affection. God bless the reader in building such a relationship for life.
Children also have a role to play in building good family relationship, read Exod.20:12; Eph.6:1-3 and Col.3:20. Fathers are mentioned in these scripture passages because they also have a role to play in treating their children correctly
in maintaining a happy family relationship.
Commitment: As a Christian and having dedicated my life to God I commit myself that in case I contemplate a marriage I will do it according to the principles set out in the Bible, and if married already I will build and maintain my marriage on pure undefiled love and strict faithfulness.
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